...if not for grace!

The Bible is real! (Online Forum Post)

2011-07-20T14:00:00.000-07:00

The Bible was inspired by God. The Bible has checks in it that prove it's a book outside of time, supernaturally inspired. Abraham probably wasn't aware at the time that his sacrifice of Isaac was to be a picture of God the Father offering his son. The Israelites leaving Egypt didn't know that their passover, killing an innocent lamb for their protection was a picture of Christ's atoning sacrifice that covers their sins and spares them from death. Nor did they probably realize that the bronze snake lifted up in the wilderness, where whoever looked at it in faith would be saved from death was also a picture of us being saved from death by our faith in Jesus' sacrifice on the cross. No one at the time of Daniel probably realized that he being an innocent man, betrayed, unjustly executed, sealed in his tomb, and raised alive because he was "innocent in God's sight", was to be a picture of Jesus' execution and resurrection. We know they didn't realize it because the Jews still deny it. But obviously those things happened and were written down and disseminated before Jesus' life, death, and resurrection. No one went in after the fact and changed those stories to fit Jesus' life. And I only gave you a sampling. How can all those poignant moments in the Old Testament coincidentally refer to what actually happened to Jesus? God has been directing time and history to prove to those looking after the fact that he knew what was going on all along.

No doubt Jesus explained all these things to his disciples when he said "And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he explained to them what was said in all the Scriptures concerning himself." Luke 24:27. You see Jesus was well aware that the OT was about him, painting a picture of him.

You see God's got it all figured out. He knew he had to include such things because people wouldn't otherwise believe. He proved that he knew "the end from the beginning". But now that you see the Bible can predict things no human could have known, you should give Jesus another look.

Perhaps you are offended by Christianity because of Christians or what you think they stand for. But it's time to break away from stereotypes and media fabrications and get to know Jesus for who he really is.

In response to Shane- so you're saying that the story of Abraham was added in later to fit the story of Jesus? Was it really added in later? You're going to have to investigate. Just ask any Jewish person.

Hey Todd, so you're saying the story of Jesus was made up to fit Old Testament stories that no Jewish person ever believed were prophetic? Then why wasn't that foreshadowing taught by early Christians? Jesus died on a cross so that he could hopefully possibly one day make people think that OT stories about innocents dying for salvation could be alluded to him if his disciples could make up that he rose from the dead and tell Jewish people that Abraham, the passover, and the prophets were trying to say he would rise from the dead, so that they could....
live lavishly? Remember, all the disciples save one were martyred. They wouldn't do that for something they knew was a "lie". They couldn't have been in on the "lie". So if Jesus was the one deceiving them, how could he do that from hanging on the cross?
Was it made up centuries later? Then how did the faith proliferate? Investigate.
I tell you the truth, Jesus really did live, was prophesied by the prophets long before people knew what a cross was, he died on the cross and he rose again. His followers disseminated the truth at the cost of their lives. Jesus is alive today and is coming back as he promised (and again, there are OT proofs).
My faith in God is an extension of logic. God is logical. I have great reasons to believe in God, unencumbered by human pressure or loyalties, and so do you. If everyone really sought God, looked at the proof of God and the Bible earnestly and humbly, thinking critically, and not married to their biases, they would see that he is true and real.
He is giving you a choice, ignore him, reject God as foolish and go your way, or check him out, believe, and be saved from eternity without God (which is really all hell is. Flames aren't really the problem. Being without God is the real scary part, but that's too abstract for most people). No one forced the Israelites to look at the snake on the pole and no one is forcing you to look to Jesus for salvation. Then again, the Israelites knew they had a problem.

Everything I ever wanted in life I found in Jesus (Part 2)

2008-12-05T21:17:00.000-08:00

The continuation:
You know, I've been thinking about this some more. I think that back then I would have affirmed that I believed all those things, but it was merely a theological assent. It was a brain thing, not a heart thing. If you would have asked me if I believed Jesus rose from the dead, I would have said, "of course I do!" and I convinced myself that I did. I mean I didn't NOT believe it. But when I was honest with myself I had to admit that its reality hadn't really gripped my heart to the point where I know that I know that I know it's true!
I'm talking about real faith!
The funny/sad thing is that at the time (I'm talkin about until late 2005) I was in Christian leadership. I was zealous for obedience to God, good Theology; I was interested in Apologetics, I shared my faith... and yet when I think about it, I don't even know if I was saved. I'm so serious! I go back and forth on this. Perhaps I was just a Christian with a lot of doubts. But when I look at the quality of my faith and walk and compare it to back then it's so qualitatively better now that I have to wonder whether I was ever saved.

There were main two reasons why my walk was so much worse back then:
1)Unbelief. Simply unbelief! Hebrews 11:6 says that "without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." Why do we think that God is cool with us not taking him at his word? I was comfortable with my level of faith. I thought I had good faith. I dabbled in unbelief. I invited things into my mind and eye that promoted unbelief, all in the name of entertainment. You're free in Christ to do whatever you want with good judgment. You're free to watch TV and see movies. But have you ever thought about how they attack the faith? How they like to trivialize God's truth? What do you think that kind of exposure does to you? And you're just inviting that stuff into your mind, allowing the enemy to freely attack your faith. I always laughed that kind of stuff off. I can control myself. I'm not that easily influenced. Nice try, Matt. Don't fool yourself. Colossians 3:1-2: "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things."
No wonder I was getting my tail whooped by sin!
2)The second reason my walk was so weak was ignorance. I didn't realize how much more there was more for the believer! I didn't realize that the victorious Christian life was available to me. I didn't realize how much I was missing and missing out on. I knew I wasn't like those super holy people, but I never thought I could be anyway. That was somebody else's dream.
I didn't realize that this was fun! I didn't realize that God was meant to be enjoyed! My Christian life was just filled with empty rituals and a sense of religious duty. If I did my duty, I felt good about myself. I didn't treat God as if he's real. He was so abstract. There was no interaction, no relationship, just ritual. That's how you treat someone who's not real: empty ritual. If God is real, don't you want to talk to him? Shouldn't there be some interaction? I would hope so. This is one of the sticking points as to why I doubt I was saved. I treated God like he's not real. What did I believe in? I had some abstract faith, not true faith in the true and living God. I had no relationship.

I could go on, but I need to go to sleep.

I hope that those who were living a life like mine can be encouraged and awakened to how much more there is. Like I said, everything I ever wanted in life I found in Christ! I hope that people who don't believe would see for themselves. God is not afraid of your questions. A lot of my learning came through asking tough questions. I wouldn't be satisfied until I knew that God had an answer for my tough questions. I asked them, I examined the answers carefully and objectively and then I believed. I think the reason why so many people falter and stumble in their faith is that they
1)don't ask the questions
2)don't expect an answer
3)don't give God a chance to let him explain himself
4)think they've found a question that stumps God and don't give him a chance. Ahh, there I go again, I need to stop. Y'all get the picture. Comment or message me, I'd love to hear your thoughts!!!

Everything I ever wanted in life I found in Jesus (Part 1)

2008-12-05T20:40:00.000-08:00

A few years ago the cynic in me would have cringed at that statement, like, "how can you say he's EVERYTHING? Surely you can't mean that." But I've come to realize that it was unbelief that kept me from realizing that. I just didn't believe all those wonderful things the Bible said he is and would be. or I was just ignorant to what the Bible said and promised to me.
I've learned that he is everything the Bible promises and more than I could have ever imagined. Everything I searched for before has become irrelevant to me. I used to think I'd be fulfilled with a girl, with popularity, with acceptance from others, but it was just a black hole. It really is true, only our creator can fill that void. Again, the cynic would have brushed that off or said, "yeah, yeah, I've heard that before", but the cynic is now dead. I've come to see reality for what it is and I can't wait to go to heaven and be with Jesus! Take that, cynic! I know the old Matt couldn't stomach a statement like that, but why not? It's because he didn't believe. I assumed it couldn't be real, which was a really baseless assumption. I believed that God is real, but he couldn't do all those other things like raise the dead, suspend and supersede the laws of nature, and change my personality and my ingrained habits. But that doesn't make any sense! Which is the greater challenge? Is there anything he can't do?
Praise be to Jesus forever and ever, thank you for rescuing me from ignorance and hopelessness and giving me your joy! And let's not forget salvation from hell! Again, the old cynic wouldn't have liked that, but now I can say it with confidence! Thank you for saving me from eternal torment in hell!! Serious, guys!! This is real for everyone! In order to be perfect and just he must punish evil, which is you and me!...
But thank God he doesn't want that to happen to anyone which is why forgiveness is available to all who accept it. John 3:16
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

(I love how the old cynic Matt cringes at open proclamation of the Gospel, as if it's not real or something. As if people don't need to hear this. I love how I've changed.)

To live is Christ!

2008-10-19T23:26:00.000-07:00

It is so easy to lose focus and start to think that life is about us. We spend entirely too much time thinking about ourselves and what we want. What is the goal of our lives? What's the point? Is for us to have a good time? For us to be glorified? For us to see our dreams come true?

Derek talked today about people suffering for Christ. The pains and the burdens that Christians bear, especially the persecuted Church. People are going to prison, being mistreated, and even dying because they are believers. But specifically he talked about the apostle Paul and everything he endured- beatings, prison, shipwrecks, hunger, abandonment- all to advance God's mission.

Remember what Paul said:

Philippians 1:21-26
For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, so that through my being with you again your joy in Christ Jesus will overflow on account of me.

Yes, it would be so much better to die and be with Christ than to be in this world. Why are we still here??

...
Seriously, why are we still here?
What are we doing here? What's the point of us being here?
We've received salvation, we love God... why are we still here? Why can't we all just go and be with Jesus?

Essentially Paul was saying that the reason why he's still here is to minister to others. He's here for their sake.

Philippians 1:23-24
I’m torn between two desires: I long to go and be with Christ, which would be far better for me. 24 But for your sakes, it is better that I continue to live.

Let me submit to you that like Paul, we are here not for ourselves, but for the world's sake. We are still here because we have do demonstrate and share Christ with others. To live is Christ!
We're not here to live lazy lives and pursue our own wants and dreams, just living for ourselves and only living for others when it's convenient.
I'm saying that the ONLY reason we're still here is to live for others.

You might say, "but what about the maturing process, enjoying God, enjoying God's blessings, isn't there a place for that?
Of course there is. I'm not saying that ministering to others is the only thing in life we can be doing. I'm saying that the only reason why we're doing those other things here and not in heaven is because here there are people who need us.
The Westminster Catechism states that "the chief end of life is to glorify God and to enjoy him forever". This is true, but we could be doing that in heaven. The reason why we're doing it here is so that we can show Christ to others.

We are here for the world's sake!

There have been times in my life where I was so frustrated I begged God to just take me home now. Just kill me and take me home now already. But now I know why he didn't grant my wish. He could take me home and solve all my problems and instantly mature me and glorify me, but he would rather do that down here and have me stay here because here I can be a light to others.

What's the point of your life? Is to live Christ or is to live Self?

[I also just want to quickly mention that I am the most self-absorbed, living for-himself kind of person. I don't want to sound like I've mastered all this and y'know, "hope you can join me at my level" kind of stuff, because I am way off. Paul said that he hasn't attained this stuff either. Never mind being like Christ, I can't even reach Paul's level! Let's press on.]

Living for myself

2008-07-20T00:39:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while I experience a time of spiritual shock, where I realize that the way I've been living isn't good enough; a time when I realize that there is much more for me in my Christian walk than what I've been experiencing. Recently I've been awoken to find how compromising and self-centered I've been. In fact, for the last two weeks all I've been thinking about is what does it mean to hate my life? What does it mean to not cling to my desires? How is that lived? How do I live for others?

A week ago my conversation with the Lord turned to my compromising ways. I had to acknowledge that I've been living a comfortable life. I was comfortable with where I was at. I was comfortable with my life, with how I was treating others, with my devotional life, with my hunger. And in my comfort I failed to realize that I had been slipping. My heart didn't burn the same way for the Lord. I've become lazy. I haven't been concerned with the plight of others.

How do I get out of this funk?

I started to think about what my life would be like if I continued to live the way I've been living. It was a frightening thought. 20 years from now, will I look back and find I never lived for others? Will I find that I just stayed comfortable the whole time and neither risked nor sacrificed anything? What do I hope to gain by clinging to my own life? I begged the Lord to not let that happen! And what was frightening was that I knew that if it was left up to me, all my fears would become reality. I would just live a life for myself.

Lord, I need you to rescue me!! You know my tendencies to fade, to lose passion, to constantly fade towards living for myself, living comfortably. If you leave it up to me, I know I'll end up living a life of compromise! Lord, rescue me from myself! Shake my life up! Do whatever it takes! Shake me from my complacency! Get me out of my comfort zone and keep me out, because I keep trying to get back in.

Sick of more me

2008-07-08T23:17:00.000-07:00

I'm so sick of me! I'm so self-centered! Everything is always about me! Most of my thoughts and concerns are about me! me me me! It's so hard to be other-centered. I'm tired of the way I am. I don't want to be like this anymore. I'm so selfish. I'm always looking for my own needs before others. It's disgusting. I want to throw up when I think about the way I've been acting/thinking. No longer a self-promoter? Please. I still do that, all the time. There's gotta be a better way. There has to be a way for a guy like me to stop thinking about himself and start pouring out his life like a drink offering.

One of you might say, "oh wow Matt! You're being so humble! Your concern shows that you're really not that consumed with yourself!"

Does it? I think that's ridiculous. I'm being very sincere! The only way you could think that I'm not selfish and self-centered is if you don't really know me. I'm seriously the most self-centered person I know. Haha! Get it? Anyway, my point remains! By any standard I'm a very self-centered person.

A few days ago Derek called me to tell me about a great new song by Flame off his latest album, "Our World Redeemed", called "See More Him" (video posted below)

I keep thinking about that line:

I wanna see more Him
Cause I'm sick of more me
I'mma be like Zacchaeus
in the sycamore tree.

That's me alright. I'm sick of more me. I need to see more Him. I haven't been like Zacchaeus, making an effort to see more of Jesus. Where has my effort been? I've been so slacking lately. I can't believe I've exchanged eternal pleasures for those that pass. Where has my mind been? Where have my affections been? How have I been spending my time? Ughh...

This week I saw a student of mine use every idle minute to study for his test. Even when we took a small break he started looking over his flashcards. I was so impressed! I thought, "wow! I never do anything like that! I'm terrible at getting the most out of every minute. If only I could be as dedicated to the Lord and my responsibilities as much as he's dedicated to his test."

I'm really sorry to everyone for being so self-centered. I'm sure there have been many bad consequences as a result of my sin, in fact I know it. I'm in need of your forgiveness. I'm need of God's forgiveness. I hate where I am. I'm sick of more me. I'm sure you are too. I wanna see more Him.

He loves to hear your voice! (Jesus is Reality)

2008-07-08T01:11:00.000-07:00

After class in Pomona I'm always the last person in the building as far as I know. There's a great silence in the room once everyone has left. So I started praying last Monday after class. I prayed out loud as I would speaking to another person, you know, actually loud! I realized that I never pray much out loud when I'm alone, certainly not as loud as normal speech.
It was very intimate. It was very tangible. It was very real.
It was sweet.

On my way home I listened to Pastor Britt Merrick from Carpinteria Calvary Chapel on 107.9 (KWAVE). He has indisputably the best song of all the radio shows on the station. I uploaded it at the end of this post for your convenience and listening pleasure. Britt was talking about how he loves to hear the voice of his son! One time he was playing with him and was asking him all these questions just to get a response! After he remained silent after all those questions he finally asked him what sound a doggie makes, just so he could hear his voice. He continued on about how God loves to hear our voice and how he bends his ear just to listen to us and how much pleasure it brings him.
Dude!!!!! That was totally just for me right there!!!!! Only a few minutes earlier I had been praying out loud and then I hear this message from God about how he loves hearing my voice?? Wow!!!! Isn't that so sweet??? and amazing!!! He loves to hear my voice!

And he also loves to hear yours! This is reality. This is the truth. The truth is sweet and better than I ever imagined. Jesus is reality!

Week 10 in Review

2008-06-29T23:56:00.000-07:00

As some of you may know, at our house we have a "haunted" TV. We call it that because every once in a while it will turn itself on. Last night it happened again, and for some reason it was tuned to TBN. They were showing a cartoon about the conversion of Saul/Paul. If you need a refresher, here's the passage from the Bible, in Acts 9:

Meanwhile, Saul was still breathing out murderous threats against the Lord's disciples. He went to the high priest and asked him for letters to the synagogues in Damascus, so that if he found any there who belonged to the Way, whether men or women, he might take them as prisoners to Jerusalem. As he neared Damascus on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, "Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?"

"Who are you, Lord?" Saul asked.

"I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting," he replied. "Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do."

The men traveling with Saul stood there speechless; they heard the sound but did not see anyone. Saul got up from the ground, but when he opened his eyes he could see nothing. So they led him by the hand into Damascus. For three days he was blind, and did not eat or drink anything.

In Damascus there was a disciple named Ananias. The Lord called to him in a vision, "Ananias!"
"Yes, Lord," he answered.

The Lord told him, "Go to the house of Judas on Straight Street and ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul, for he is praying. 12In a vision he has seen a man named Ananias come and place his hands on him to restore his sight."

"Lord," Ananias answered, "I have heard many reports about this man and all the harm he has done to your saints in Jerusalem. And he has come here with authority from the chief priests to arrest all who call on your name."

But the Lord said to Ananias, "Go! This man is my chosen instrument to carry my name before the Gentiles and their kings and before the people of Israel. I will show him how much he must suffer for my name."

Then Ananias went to the house and entered it. Placing his hands on Saul, he said, "Brother Saul, the Lord—Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you were coming here—has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit." Immediately, something like scales fell from Saul's eyes, and he could see again. He got up and was baptized, and after taking some food, he regained his strength.

I never took the time to really reflect on how this affected him emotionally. The zeal for persecuting Christians and hatred towards them he had! It's hard to grasp how humbled he was. What shame he had about what he had done. Has anyone ever regretted his former life as much as Paul? Has anyone ever been turned around as much as Paul? The tears he must have shed when he realized he had been persecuting the Lord! Everything he held dear was crushed. He lost his entire life. I can see a pain in Paul's life that must be deeper than anyone else I can imagine. I see a very tender spot, a deep pain, but also a love and humility that shines through in his inspired writing. I'm really looking forward to meeting him in heaven. Maybe we can talk about what happened and how he felt when he was in Damascus.

I just spent an hour writing 1500 words to a friend! And I did talk about the time I was born again. I felt like Paul, too. What a wasted life until that point. But what love and forgiveness! Here's an excerpt:
I experienced God at a level of intimacy I'd never experienced. We were so close. I was so in love. I had never realized how much he cared for me! That he had been directing all the events in my life to bring me to him!
In him I found infinite comfort, infinite security, infinite love. My wounds were deep, and he healed them.

How 'bout you? Have you ever experienced his love to a point where it had you floored? Where you had to cry? Where you felt joy?
If not, you can freely experience that! He wants to give it to you more than you want it! But you miss out because you aren't thirsty for it. You have not because you ask not. But don't be worried. He can give you the thirst, too, if you ask for it! How thirsty are you? However thirsty you are is how much you'll drink. If you're a little thirsty, you'll drink little. If you're very thirsty you'll drink a lot. If you kinda sorta want to be filled, you'll kinda sorta be filled. If you really want to be filled, you'll really be filled.

John 7:37-38
"If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him."

John 4:13-14
"Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."

Thankful

2008-06-28T21:59:00.001-07:00

This evening I made myself a sammich.
I prayed over the food and thanked God that I had food. As I was eating I kept thinking about how thankful I was (it helped that it was a good sammich). With each bite I just kept thinking more and more how thankful I was. I can't believe how unbelievably blessed my life is. I can't believe how much I've been blessed and how little I give thanks in comparison. When I think about all the people that have ever lived, I wonder, has anyone ever been as blessed as I? I had a great childhood, have a place to live, a great family, a church with great people, friends, my health, food, drink, indoor plumbing, a computer, a cell phone, great music, more clothes than I need, a car...
No, No!! What I'm talking about is being blessed by Christ! Think of all the wonderful revelation we have in the New Testament that the prophets yearned to see! Of course as Christians we're already more blessed than anyone else. The person who has Christ but nothing else is richer than Bill Gates. But when I think about it... I have that AND I've been blessed with all these things. Why, Lord? You're so generous. God gives people all kinds of stuff and they never thank him, and he still gives it to them, because he's so generous and loving and caring.

God has shown such generosity towards me. It baffles me. I don't understand! I deserve nothing. And it won't stop. And it's not like you foresaw how thankful I'd be and gave it based on that, because you know that's not the case. Lord, thank you for my life! Thank you for the way you guided me through dangers, seen and unseen. Thank you for showing me love!

A car... yes, I have a car now. I know Derek wouldn't want me to post this, but as many of you know, he and Anisa gave me a car. I spent the morning trying to learn how to drive stick. I can't describe how thankful I am. Derek taught me something about love that no theoretical lesson could ever teach me. No book, no article, no blog entry. I know Derek loves me. And not because of the car, I know because of how Derek cares for me and is longsuffering towards me. Over time he has demonstrated great love towards me. He's been dedicated to me. Thank you Derek and Anisa. I don't know how to thank you enough.

Lord, I thank you!
For your grace and your love
The sacrifice you made on the cross just for us!
Thank you for everything that you've done
like giving up the life of your Son...

Fanatic!!!

2008-06-28T21:57:00.000-07:00

Let's be fanatical Christians! Full of love! Denying our flesh, denying our own will, being submissive to one another, being full of joy, serving one another, being humble, studying the Bible, discharging our ministries, uplifting one another, rejecting falsehood, exposing lies, spreading the truth, being peaceable, being wise as snakes and harmless as doves, being thankful to God, being in love with Jesus, being mindful of each other and each other's needs, bathing in prayer, enjoying God's presence, depending on God, waiting on God, walking by faith and not by sight, being fanatically devoted to Jesus Christ!!!!
FANATIC!!!

Week 9 in Review

2008-06-22T23:38:00.000-07:00

About the recurring "Week in Review" articles:
This afternoon I was thinking about what I would write today, and I came to realize something: The "Week in Review" articles shouldn't be about what fun things I've done recently, but about what the Lord has been teaching me this week. I really wanted to emphasize that. This whole blog should never be about me or to draw someone to me, but to draw you to Jesus!

I've still been going through the books of Ruth and Romans with Aaron. If you want to hear some good sermons, go to antiochphilly.org, and listen to some there. Today I listened to the latest in the Ruth series, and it was awesome! Check it out on the website by scrolling to the bottom and clicking on "What the Law Could Not do..." I think tomorrow I'll write an article about the book of Ruth.

But back to what I've been learning this week. This entire week, the Lord has been trying to nail down exactly what I mean when I say he's my portion. I keep saying that he's all I need in life and that this world is vanity and that he's all I need, but he's been stretching me to find out exactly what that means. Do I really mean it? I remember on Monday saying "Earth has nothing I desire but you". I've been sensing the Lord trying to really pound it into me, that I never forget that he's all I need...

Today in Church Derek pointed out how almost every adult in our congregation has recently shed tears in the service, including Derek. The people in the congregation pointed towards the ability to open up in our intimate atmosphere. What they didn't know was that I was shedding tears in the sound-room while we played the song "Falling in Love with Jesus" by Kirk Whalum.

Look carefully at the child rocking in Jesus' arms at about 2:08:

That was the image that was going through my mind while I was rocking back and forth like that child with my arms crossed and my hands on my shoulders, crying, thinking about me in Jesus' arms, singing to this song (video below):

In his arms I feel protected
In his arms, never disconnected
In his arms I feel protected
There's no place I'd rather be!

I remember 5 years ago hearing this song and not thinking much about it. Falling in Love with Jesus? That made me a little uncomfortable. It weirded me out a little. I didn't really know what to make of it. Oh thank you Jesus for loving me and letting me fall in love with you! It really was the best thing I've ever done!

I've only shared this with Kahliah, but when I was in Davis a few weeks ago, I was in my car reflecting on my time at Davis. I was bawling. Through tears I cried out "Thank you for saving me! Thank you for not leaving me here! Thank you so much! Thank you for calling me son!"
He responded by saying,
You weep now so you won't weep later.
Those who don't weep now will weep later.

That was eery!

And strangely comforting.

The Passion

2008-06-21T23:59:00.000-07:00

I posted this video a few weeks ago, but it's just so powerful, I had to bring it up again! I've been looking at it like every day this week. It just never gets old, and it never fails to stir me.

God didn't have to create the world, he was happy all by himself without us. He didn't have to endure the pain and shame of the cross, and take the punishment that we deserved, but he did it because he loved us, it was the only way he could save us from hell, reconcile us to himself, and establish a love relationship for eternity!

Completely Accepted

2008-06-19T23:00:00.000-07:00

That last video about racial reconciliation actually reminded me of the previous video about the beauty queen. Think about it. The very thing that they felt insecure about and had the deepest pain about was the thing that Christ healed completely. And Jesus came to do that for everyone! The beauty queen was ridiculed for being unattractive and the Black man was ridiculed, attacked, and made to feel hated for being Black. Many people who feel insecure or hated feel like they have to justify themselves, to be accepted, to prove themselves of worth. But what is their source of acceptance?

I was just thinking today about my time at UC Davis and about how I always felt like I had to prove to people that I was good enough, that I should be accepted, because I felt some people had rejected me because I'm White. I learned that no matter how hard you try, no matter how much you go out of your way to please people and prove yourself to people and to be accepted, there are always people who will reject you, even for no good reason. But I came to realize that God has accepted me on account of the sacrifice of his son Jesus, and that's good enough for me. I don't have to prove myself to people anymore. I don't have to build a reputation. I don't have to be a self-promoter. He's set me free from all that. He has accepted me. He loves me and I love him. What more could I want?

(This is not license to instead act or live in an offensive manner, but rather to show that you will always feel less than completely accepted if people are your basis for self-esteem.)

Don't measure your worth based on what people think of you. Whose opinion really matters? Strangers'? Isn't that ridiculous how people will think that strangers' opinions of them are more important than God's? Think about the amount of time, effort, and money people put into impressing strangers. What do they get out of it? And then think about the amount of time they put into impressing God. It's insanity, really.

I've seen people have a good belly laugh about me, my convictions, or what I hold dear in order to attack my self-confidence. But there will always be people like that. What does it really matter? How much does their opinion count in matters of eternity? No, I feel really sorry for them, even sad. If scripture didn't dissuade me from pleading with mockers, I'd try to reach them.

Sometimes I cry when I think about how Jesus came to rescue me. Did he really care that much about our pains? On the cross, did he really care about some guy half way around the world who would live 2000 years later and feel hurt and lost? I picture him hanging on the cross, saying my name... "Matt!"......
Of course he does. Does he care about you? Of course he does.
He died for you. What love!

Can you picture him there saying your name?

Jesus is the Answer

2008-06-05T00:34:00.000-07:00

Check out this powerful video! I was so touched by the healing power of Jesus. There is no problem big enough that he can't overcome. No insecurity, no pain, no hatred, no sin is beyond his reach. Jesus really did come to set the captives free!

The Greatest Crown (Part 3)

2008-06-03T16:44:00.000-07:00

In light of the last two posts (1 and 2), guess where I decided to go to lunch today!

That's right, I went to Togo's! I got Togo's to go. The girl in question wasn't there, but I did strike up a conversation with the lady who made my sammich. I started asking her how long she had been working there (4 years). Then I asked her about the girl I was talking about and started describing her. She wasn't sure which of two girls it was, but when I described her some more she said, "Allison". So now I have a name!

She said she moved away to another state a few months ago. There were some family problems that I won't divulge here.

I told the lady who made my sammich about what I had seen and that I felt really bad and wanted to talk to the girl. They were very sympathetic and accommodating. The other guy told me lots more about her that made me understand a lot more. They did say that she comes to town every once in a while (family reasons), and usually stops by Togo's! So I left a note for her with my number, email address, and the specific blog web address, although I now realize that I gave the wrong extension. She'll get to the blog, but not the specific article, unless she looks. I'm gonna have to go back to change that.

Wow! So exciting!

I also got a text from Aaron, my former pastor in Philly this morning. Looks like we're prolly gonna meet up tomorrow! I'm so excited! That means I'm gonna have to go to Temecula (and then Los Angeles, Fresno, Sacramento, Davis, Berkeley, Oakland, and back to Fresno, Paramount, Pomona, and finally home to La Mirada, all in 4 days!).
If I ever have kids, I'm naming my first son Aaron. He means so much to me and has helped me so much. So if the significance and the excitement of the visit is lost on you, just believe me and be happy for me.

The Greatest Crown (Part 2)

2008-06-02T23:53:00.000-07:00

Continued from yesterday.

She wasn't there. I tried to go back to Togo's every couple days. I tried to remember the time and day on which I saw her and come on those times and days. She wasn't there. I did this for a few weeks. Let me tell you, Togo's is expensive!!!
(Yeah, yeah, I know, no one forced me to buy it. But I felt like if I walked in I had to buy something. Plus I really started to like it. *teethy grin*)

So that's where it's at. Who knows what happened to her? I hope that maybe there's something for you in this story, maybe that's why God let that happen. This world is full of sin. This world is full of people ready to shred your self esteem. They will try to strike a nerve, try to hit you on your most sensitive spot. It's of Satan, really. Have you ever had someone do that to you? The one thing that you're most insecure about is the thing they totally ground you into pieces about. I remember feeling like that as a kid. I remember being teased and feeling like dirt. I just felt so worthless and unlovable. I couldn't believe the depth of evil demonstrated to me. And I just drowned it out with video games.

Don't fall for it! Don't let them deceive you! Don't fall into the trap they've set for you. They want to make you depressed and lose heart.

What is your source of self-esteem? Where does it come from? Does it come from your reputation? What others say and think about you?
Why should I feel good about myself?
Why should anyone feel good about themselves?

I remember when I moved back home to Fresno from Philadelphia. One of the first things I did was throw away all my awards and plaques and medals and stuff that I had. I dumped them all in the trash, (although I think my mother held me back from throwing them all away). I remember just thinking that I had used those things as a pathetic prop for my self-esteem. Those things are only temporary and could never build my self esteem. I didn't want to define myself by perceptions of others. Who was I trying to impress? No amount of medals in the world could make me feel as confident and loved as I had experienced with Jesus. I didn't need them as nostalgia, what would be the point of that? Nothing would be gained. I don't have to look to the past because I have a home in heaven that I'm looking to.

The only source I have for self-esteem, self-worth, and significance is God. Ultimately I have to see that what's really real and what really matters is how God sees me. It really doesn't make sense: Why should I be more concerned with impressing people rather than God? Whose opinion counts for more? People come and go, but God is always there. In the end, doesn't God's opinion trump all?

Cam said in his song, "A different type of normal":
When they look at me they laugh, but when God looks he smiles.

You need to recognize those hurtful things that people said or did to you for what they are: sinful deeds by sinful people. People who were trying to cover up their own pain and take it out on you.
When I think of all the hateful and ignorant comments that were directed my way in my life I think, "well of course they'd say something like that. Their mind is not fixed on Christ and they have a sinful nature. Their mind is fixed on earthly things. They're acting in ignorance of God's truth. I understand. I know why they did that. I forgive them."

Don't you know how precious you are to God??? This is serious! This isn't some platitude I'm spouting. Do you really believe that you are precious to God? Not, do you agree in your head that you're precious to God, or a mere theological assent, but in your heart do you know how precious you are to God??
Yes, God loves you and this means everything.
How I wish I could have told the girl at Togo's. But at least I can tell you!

Romans 8:37-39
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Eph 3:17b-19
And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

John 15:13
Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

John 3:16
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

1 Peter 2:24b
"by His wounds you were healed"

Da T.R.U.T.H. - N.F.L. (New Found Love)
So whether you're fat skinny or tall, nose big or small
He loves you just the way you are, with your flaws and all
He sees your needs, meets you wherever you are
He loves you when you're on the rise, and even when you fall
It remains the same, it doesn't change like the leaves in Fall
He proved His love on the cross, when He streched His palms
Jesus baby
His love erased our guilt
Jesus baby
His love covered my filth
Jesus
I read about it in the book off the shelf
Jesus
He loved me when I didn't love myself
Now check the love sequel: how he love a bunch of bugged people
Prepared a place and chose to tailor-make his tuxedo
And marry us
over the threshold carry us
fabulous
I'm very touched of how he love us very much
And I gotta brand new found love in my life
And I gotta brand new found love in my life, Sing!
Da Truth - N.F.L. (New Found Love).

Togo's girl update

The Greatest Crown (Part 1)

2008-06-01T23:45:00.000-07:00

I'm skipping the week in review for today, not because nothing of note happened, but because there's a lot of other stuff I need to talk about. Although I do want to quickly mention that I'm going to Davis on Thursday to meet up and talk with folks. And that I just heard that Aaron is in California! I hope I can meet up with him. I'm so overjoyed to hear I might get to see him!

Today I was listening to K-Wave (107.9 in Southern California) and I heard the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association's weekly broadcast, and I heard this story:

When I heard the part where she said she was going to take one last shot at the crown and the missionary lady said, "let me tell you about the greatest crown", this was the face I made and how I felt (watch closely at 22 seconds):

Bold!!! Cold blooded! Bam!! Slam Dunk!! I want to give them a big hug. That was so cool. The youth pastor couple, too. So cool. I really want to give high fives all around!

I just love this story. It always amazes me how Jesus can heal all of a person's insecurities and pains. Aaron once told us that before he became a believer he knew he had pains and issues so deep that he knew no human being could ever heal him from them. I find the same thing in my life. There were deeply rooted issues that were so fantastically deep and complicated, that I never thought I would be rid of. I even joked with a friend and we would say, "deeply rooted".

That part about the beached whale struck me hard. A few months ago I was stopped at the front of a light at Colima & Whittier in Whittier. A girl in her late teens crossed the intersection and walked in front of my car. She was wearing her Togo's uniform and was headed to the Togo's across the street. I recognized her because the day before I had gone to Togo's for some reason. (I had never even been to Togo's before. I can't remember what moved me to go there, but obviously now I know.) Some guys in the vehicle to my left honked at her and started laughing her and mocking her appearance because they found her very unattractive. I started to burn with anger at those guys. "How could they do that to her?!?!?! Don't they know how much they're hurting her??" I saw how she was first shocked by the horn and then how she cringed and looked away when she realized what they were doing. You could see the pain in her eyes. Her face changed and she looked like she was ready to burst into tears. That look on her face struck me like a bolt of lightning. It's still burned into my mind.

That night when I was lying on my bed to go to sleep I started thinking about her. What was she thinking? How was she feeling? How did that touch her? How is she coping? I thought about similar pains I had when I was young. I started to cry for her. I begged God to let me talk to her. I could feel her pain so clearly. I made up my mind that I was going to talk to her the next day.

I wanted to tell her how I cried about her and how if I can cry for her and care about her how much more God cares and cries about her. And he does, I know he was heartbroken as well. I wanted to tell her how wrong and mean those guys were and how God sees her so much differently, how precious she is to him and how much he gave to save her. I wanted to tell her about the deep infinite love God has for her and also how I experienced his shocking love and healing in my life, how he healed my self esteem that could never be healed by the world.

Continue

Eat, Sleep, and Drink Jesus

2008-05-31T21:23:00.001-07:00

What kind of person eats only once a week? What do you think that person would look like?

I asked the high school kids yesterday what such a person's performance would be on the football field.
"Dude will get blasted!!... probably by me!!" Griffin said.

So why is it that some think they can survive on once-a-week spiritual meals? We need to eat everyday! But what do we eat?

John 6:32-35
Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, it is not Moses who has given you the bread from heaven, but it is my Father who gives you the true bread from heaven. For the bread of God is he who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world."

"Sir," they said, "from now on give us this bread."

Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty."

Are you getting fed?? Are you reading a word, a book, a sermon that feeds you spiritually? Are you praying? Are you reading the Bible? Talking to other believers about your faith? Asking questions? Meditating? Spending time at Jesus' feet?
Yeah you're saved by grace alone. You don't do these things out of obligation, coercion, or to earn anything, but because you WANT to, because you NEED to! Right?

If you're not eating, you're gonna get blasted on the spiritual battlefield! No wonder you're getting your tail whipped! No wonder you're leading a defeated, joyless Christian walk. You're suffering from spiritual malnutrition. The prescription? The Bread of Life, Jesus Christ!
We gotta grow!!

The First Resort (Part 2)

2008-05-28T22:45:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I talked about how we need to make God our first resort when we feel down. When we feel depressed, it's actually a cry for God. Depression and disappointment, etc. are really just God-given feelings to make us cry for God. The person who craves an addiction, like alcohol, is actually craving God, they're just misinterpreting the feeling and giving it the false solution.

The other day I heard a sermon by Aaron about how God subjected this world to a curse. People will always be disappointed when they try to find satisfaction in this world. Nothing you can do or attain will ever give you satisfaction. That feeling of disappointment is supposed to drive you towards God. God wants you to feel frustrated by this world so that you aren't deceived and think that fulfillment can be found in something or someone besides him. If we could find complete joy in something besides him, we wouldn't seek him. This reminds me of a quote by Spurgeon:

"Men are in a restless pursuit after satisfaction in earthly things. They will exhaust themselves in the deceitful delights of sin, and, finding them all to be vanity and emptiness, they will become very perplexed and disappointed. But they will continue their fruitless search. Though wearied, they still stagger forward under the influence of spiritual madness, and though there is no result to be reached except that of everlasting disappointment, yet they press forward. They have no forethought for their eternal state; the present hour absorbs them. They turn to another and another of earth's broken cisterns, hoping to find water where not a drop was ever discovered yet."

---

Yesterday I also talked about the solution: seeking God first. And that brings me to my next point, cultivating a relationship. Supplication is one thing, just getting by and surviving is one thing, but thriving is another. One of the biggest changes in my life has come about by recognizing a simple truth: we need to communicate with God.

It's not just when we experience pain that we should turn to God; what about the fun moments? Sometimes I see or experience something really cool or exciting and my first instinct is to call a friend of mine who I think would love to hear about it. But why not tell God about it first? What makes you think he doesn't want to hear about it? You might say, "Well, he already knows about it". But he knows all your needs before you ask for anything, and yet you're still supposed to pray. It's not about relaying information, it's about a relationship!! He wants to hear the joy in your heart! You also need to tell him for your own good, so you recognize that communication is indeed occurring, that you're conscious of the relationship, and are cultivating it. Another common phrase is that communication is the key to relationship. But just because we hear it all the time doesn't mean it's not true. If you're not communicating, what do you think your relationship is going to be like?

Too many times (and this was all my life used to consist of) we treat prayer like a lifeless ritual, just something we're supposed to do. I remember hearing this a million times, but never grasping it: "It's a relationship, not a religion!" Yes, Christianity is not a religion- you've entered into a relationship with the one true and living God! Why do you treat it like a list of chores that need to be done? What would you think of a friend who called you up just because he thinks he's supposed to? someone who doesn't actually care about you, they're just talking to you to keep up the appearance of having a relationship with you. Really they want to be somewhere else. How would that make you feel? How would you feel if someone talked to you solely out of obligation, not because they actually liked you? What if someone called you and said, "heyhowyadoini'mgreati'llseeya*click*" Wouldn't that be the weirdest thing you ever heard? And yet we treat God that way! What an insult! You're acting like he's not real or that he's not someone to actually interact with.
(Please please don't misunderstand me and think that I'm de-emphasizing serious reverent prayer when I say we should have fun prayer, fun communication with God. We should have both. I think that should be clear.)

This is what it means to "pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians 5:17, also Ephesians 6:18). We should to be in constant communication with God! He wants to hear about all your pains and problems, even down to your hangnail, but he also wants to hear about all the joys, victories, and pleasures you experience! Constant impromptu prayers also cause you to think about God a lot more and be more aware of his presence in your life. Watch your relationship with God take off as you engage in constant communication!

The First Resort (Part 1)

2008-05-27T23:52:00.000-07:00

There are times in my life when I feel miserable. Sometimes it's just easy to think about all the things that have gone wrong in my life. There are some days when everything goes wrong and it's easy to be down. And certainly no one would blame you for being down, but what do you do about it? You can't just pretend that nothing is wrong and force yourself to be happy. But whom do you run to when you're feeling down and need cheering up?

I remember I would always call a friend or friends or go play sports. There were other times in my life where I had less healthy ways of coping. And there are many other ways that people try to numb their pain: activities, sports, hobbies, video games, food, TV, movies, work and career and many other things that are not wrong in and of themselves, but become a snare when you try to find comfort in them. Other things that people do are self-destructive and can really make your life spiral out of control (and I don't think I have to list them).

I used to turn to others. I used to turn to things to cheer me up. But you know what? Instead of calling that friend to cheer you up when you're down, why don't you call God? He really wants to hear about everything that bothers you. And you can talk his ear full and he'll never get tired of you. Instead of God being the third or fourth person you call, why not call him first? The thing is, there really is comfort in him. (Thank God for friends that cheer you up, but don't make them your first and only resort.) The comfort I got from friends or games lasted for a little while, but it was really just a cover-up for the pain I was feeling, rather than a genuine solution, and it didn't really fix anything in the long run. Why are we so slow to seek God?

In Theology class we learned that one definition of sin is to address legitimate desires by illegitimate means. For example, the pain you feel may drive you to cover it up with alcohol, but your real problem will never be addressed by alcohol. The pain you feel makes you cry out for comfort, some way to relieve the pain. But alcohol is really no solution at all. The only person powerful enough to meet your needs is God. God wants to be the solution to your pain! He is the solution to your pain! God has implanted into you desires that only he can address. So when you feel down, it's supposed to drive you to God, for you to seek him! Unfortunately people address those feelings of pain, anxiety, insecurity, and loneliness by other means that never satisfy. Yes, everyone feels pain. But how are you going to address it? Are you going to trust God to take care of it? There were times when I felt like, "God, I don't know how you're supposed to heal me or how this is going to work, or if you really can be sufficient for all my needs, but I want to trust you. I heard that you want to take care of me and be my comfort and I want it to be true. I want you to do that for me." And you know what? He did.

What a difference I experienced in my life when I started casting all my cares on God! When I gave him my burdens, it was amazing to see him heal me. We sing the songs and read those scriptures almost flippantly, without really reflecting on their meaning, totally ignoring that they really are true! Just knowing that he loves me and has everything under control gives me so much comfort. Even when things momentarily seem bad, I know in the long run everything is taken care of. My eternal destiny is secure and the only person that really matters in this world loves me. What joy...

There were a lot of things that went wrong today. Feelings of hurt and pain rushed in. But I ran into his arms and found comfort and rest for my soul. Everything is under control.

Part 2 will appear tomorrow. Stay tuned!

Week 5 in Review

2008-05-25T13:02:00.000-07:00

This last week was a killer. It's a good thing I didn't blog everyday, 'cause my mind was just elsewhere. After finals I got to go home and spend some time at home. That was very relaxing and rejuvenating. Now I'm on my way out the door, 'cause I'm going on vacation!! I'm meeting up with the guys from my undergrad Bible Study. San Diego here I come!! (Be back Chewsday, as the British say.)

Gnosticism Reborn

2008-05-24T23:53:00.000-07:00

My buddy Drew is flying back to Florida, so I drove him to LAX tonight. We stopped at In 'n' Out before I dropped him off. I mean, he's going to Florida for 3 months! You have to have In 'n' Out before you leave. We had a nice little chat for over an hour there. (That's quite an achievement, if you know Drew.) Most of it centered on the Philosophy department at Talbot and its students.

This week I witnessed a very discomfiting event involving a Talbot Philosophy student. I was privy to a conversation in which a professor chided a student for making some rather insulting and blasphemous comments, and the prof told him how unbecoming they were of a Talbot student. He really tore into the student. It was frightening. Drew and I talked about some other Philosophy students who seem less than fully committed to the faith. Drew himself is a Philosophy major; I'm not anti-Philosophy, I just want to air my thoughts about the dangers I see that come with studying Philosophy. Lavaris gave a very stirring defense of the study of Philosophy from a Christian perspective this week that left me quite convinced of its efficacy.

Where do I start? Here's one of my favorite quotes: "Any philosophy that ultimately ends up being all about how great and smart you are is worthless". I'm very disturbed by philosophy that glorifies its proponent and is really just for his or her glory. Imagine, "Hey I found the perfect and true philosophy: It's all about me, baby!" What pride! To some it's all about showing off how well read and learned they are. And those imbeciles who didn't get the chance to read the special books they discovered are therefore inferior in their philosophy. I know it sounds ridiculous. And yet I see people acting like that. Even at Talbot.

There are some who are just after philosophy for philosophy's sake. Philosophy has become their idol. Philosophy is king even above Jesus. They want to stay up on all the latest in Philosophy debates and fill their mind with Philosophy rather than Jesus and the Bible (though to be fair, you can be up on the Bible and Philosophy, I'm just warning against an improper balance). Drew said he heard someone a few days ago at the Philosophy House lament that they had to take Theology and Bible classes, which prevents them from full immersion in Philosophy. He failed to see the importance and supremacy of Christ who is the only true treasure trove of knowledge and philosophy.

I worry about those students who haven't come to find Jesus as the ultimate truth and feel like there's something else to be discovered. There is no mountain to climb with some mystical guru who will tell you the secret truth that you were searching for. Christ is all you're looking for! There is no special secret knowledge you have to discover. The Bible has the answers you need.

Colossians 2:3
In Christ are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.

All the treasures of wisdom and knowledge you've been looking for are found in Christ!! I was on a similar quest when I went to Philadelphia. But when I realized that Jesus was what I was looking for, I dropped it all. I dropped out of grad school and moved back to California and immersed myself in Jesus. Do you think that true philosophy and truth is found in some book by some obscure author that only 20 people have ever read? As if only those on some mystical quest for truth and read esoteric books with radical ideas will ever find truth. No, there is no secret knowledge to be sought. To think that there's anything besides Jesus to be found in life is just another form of gnosticism. The gnostics believed that salvation was restricted to a select few with special access to secret knowledge.

Matthew 11:25-26
At that time Jesus said, "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure."

Yes, it makes much more sense for the truth to be accessible to all, rather than just the wise and the learned. It reflects God's character of inclusiveness and equal love of all, including those who aren't the sharpest knives in the drawer. The humble can receive faith and salvation easily. On top of that, those who take pride in themselves are prevented from seeing the truth. Ingenious! How's that for a good philosophy?? The humble are accepted and the proud rejected. Your pride is an obstacle between you and the truth. Be warned. Do not rely on your reasoning and philosophy to discover truth.

I marvel at the pursuits of some people. This goes not just for Philosophy, but for all the social sciences. I see it all the time: People think they're treading on ground never touched by man, charging into new undiscovered areas of knowledge that no one has ever seen. The novelty is a rush and a draw to delve deeper. *sarcasm alert* Oh yes, here's the secret stuff those other not so intelligent people can't understand and can't see! or "I'm glad I found the truth. Too bad for the 99.99999% who will never take that University course and find that book I found." It's a satanic deception, there's nothing there. You think what you're discovering something new, while you're missing out on the sweet truth and joy Christ offers you. He knows all and there is no knowledge worth knowing that he won't reveal.

1 Corinthians 1:18-31
18 The message of the cross is foolish to those who are headed for destruction! But we who are being saved know it is the very power of God. 19 As the Scriptures say, "I will destroy the wisdom of the wise and discard the intelligence of the intelligent." 20 So where does this leave the philosophers, the scholars, and the world's brilliant debaters? God has made the wisdom of this world look foolish. 21 Since God in his wisdom saw to it that the world would never know him through human wisdom, he has used our foolish preaching to save those who believe. 22 It is foolish to the Jews, who ask for signs from heaven. And it is foolish to the Greeks, who seek human wisdom. 23 So when we preach that Christ was crucified, the Jews are offended and the Gentiles say it's all nonsense. 24 But to those called by God to salvation, both Jews and Gentiles, Christ is the power of God and the wisdom of God. 25 This foolish plan of God is wiser than the wisest of human plans, and God's weakness is stronger than the greatest of human strength. 26 Remember, dear brothers and sisters, that few of you were wise in the world's eyes or powerful or wealthy when God called you. 27 Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful. 28 God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important. 29 As a result, no one can ever boast in the presence of God. 30 God has united you with Christ Jesus. For our benefit God made him to be wisdom itself. Christ made us right with God; he made us pure and holy, and he freed us from sin. 31 Therefore, as the Scriptures say, "If you want to boast, boast only about the Lord."

1 Corinthians 8:1b-3
Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up. 2The man who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know. 3But the man who loves God is known by God.

Psalm 51:17
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

And again, Colossians 2:3
In Christ are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.

Tony...

2008-05-24T18:52:00.000-07:00

Thursday night I was back home and in the evening I was outside praying. I usually have a time set aside where I pray for all my unsaved friends and pray that they come to faith in Jesus. I'll be honest, there are times when my mind wanders and I kinda skim the names and treat it almost like a list. (I try not to, though. *sheepish grin*) On Thursday I was about to do the same, but then I got to Tony's name... and I started crying. Tony...

I cried with convulsions. I soaked the ground. My nose was running. I begged God to choose him and to save him. I couldn't stop crying. Before the foundations of the world, did you choose Tony? Lord, I want to send a prayer back in time to the time before you created the world. Please add Tony to the list! I don't want Tony to go to hell. Please Lord, I'll do anything. I'm willing to be tortured for the rest of my life if that could save Tony! I'm willing to trade a life of meaning, joy, and personal fulfillment for Tony. You can lock me up and have me tortured for the rest of my life, I'd gladly do it, if Tony were saved and won't have to go to that horrible place!

Tony...

First of all, to anyone who does not believe in Jesus Christ and has not accepted his free pardon and gift of salvation, I feel the same way for you! When I see an unbeliever and if I really think about it, I would cry every time; if I really think about what's going to happen to you if you reject Jesus. Even if you don't believe and don't care about Jesus, will you care for my sake? If I know you and you're not a believer, chances are, I've prayed for you regularly. There's no greater source of sadness in my life. Personal failures, physical pains, romantic disappointments- they all pale in comparison to the pain of knowing you will be in hell.

And to all believers, has the reality of hell really gripped you? Without it we have no hope! There's no meaning to life without heaven. There's no heaven without the cross and the resurrection. There's no pardon without the cross. If there's a pardon, then there must be guilt. And if there's guilt, there's no pardon without admittance of guilt. So without repentance there's no forgiveness, and without forgiveness there's certain punishment!

Have you really wept about those who are lost? You do believe Jesus when he says they will go to a place of weeping and gnashing of teeth, right? You do believe in God's uncompromisable holiness, right? Let it grip your heart! They're lost! What pain...

Aaron once told a story (and Dre 2000 miles away told me the same one, so I know it's circulating somewhere) about a man on death row. He was being escorted to his execution, and the priest was reading about going to hell. The convict turned to him and said, "Do you actually believe all those things you're reading?" The priest gave a very pious, "yes, of course". The prisoner said, "If I believed that, I would crawl across broken glass for miles to tell people about that!!"

I wasn't gonna go here, but at one time in my life I didn't quite see the justice of hell, how God is shown to be good through hell. Back in Fall 2006 I met a guy in Fresno at a church event. (The singles group went to play mini-golf at Boomers). He told me how his life had changed since he came to faith in Jesus. He told me about his lifestyle of gang banging and how he got saved and gave up his old life after being shot. (He's a great father, by the way, a loving, responsible Dad.) He showed me where he had been shot. He had a shot graze his temple (I forget exactly where it was, but it was somewhere on his head, I'll ask him next time I see him). "Man, if that shot had even been an inch further over, I woulda died! I woulda gone to hell!!! I would have gone to hell, man!" Who could argue with that? I saw the hope that Jesus gave him and the joy he had because God gave him a new life and saved him from hell. Yes, for the first time, I could see the awesome goodness of God in hell. The fact that hell is real is now a source of comfort to him and a source of thankfulness, a source of joy. Who can take that away from him?

Last night while I was driving back to SoCal I got a call from Tony. All we talked about were the Lakers and the NBA. After all that, that's all I managed to say?? *groan*
Obviously I need a lot of help! I know you probably do too. I was just thinking, "so I'd be willing to be tortured for Tony, but I won't even risk telling him to his face??" Ridiculous.
Lord, please help!

Tony...

He is my reward!

2008-05-20T23:59:00.000-07:00

Goodminton

2008-05-19T23:04:00.000-07:00

This is one of the busiest weeks of my life, so I don't have much time to post. If you want to pray, please pray I use my time wisely. (Yes, I do think blogging is time well spent. I'm committed to it and it helps me focus.)

Today a great hope of mine was dashed to pieces. For months I've been looking forward to playing Badminton, which is offered during Summer Session I at Cerritos College, which started today. I turned in an application and registered for a couple PE classes, including Badminton. I've been itching to play badminton since I took a class in Fall '06 at Fresno City College. I've been telling people how much I'm looking forward to playing badminton (aka goodminton). For weeks I've been imagining myself smashing on people, slicing, lobing... and when I got to class the coach said the class had been canceled because it didn't have the necessary 20 students to start the class. What a bummer!
(Wow! I've got problems, huh? I bet you wish you had my problems!)

Also today Ella invited me to her 3rd birthday party. How could I say no?? I actually think I'm going to be in Fresno that weekend, but you should have heard her invite me! I don't think I can miss it now. It's going to be at the park, and Ella proudly announced that there would be a bounce house!

You know, every day I try to include something profound in my blog. Some Theological truth, some lesson I learned, some encouragement. Today I'm at a loss for words! I'm also reeeeally tired! I feel like I could just drop into my bed like a rock. I've learned that when I'm tired I need to not force the issue and try and come up with something that sounds bizarre when I read it the next day.

But I guess that's OK. Good night y'all!

Week 4 in Review

2008-05-18T23:16:00.000-07:00

I have finals tomorrow, so I'll keep this brief.
I was greatly energized this week. I was very happy with this week.
I was also greatly encouraged, once again. Little David was disappointed when he found out there would be no Children's church today. That was a sweet compliment.
I also just bumped into Mike on my way out of the library, and he had some very kind words for me. Mike is great peoples.
Also from Richard.
That just makes me so happy. Things are so much different now. Even four weeks ago my life was very different. My life seems to be moving so fast right now.

I had a great time with my Dad this weekend. We went out to eat a lot and we saw a very forgettable movie, which I may yet critique, so I'll save that for later. Also, last night at about 11pm in Anaheim, I saw a family check into a hotel and the mom had their 6 year old son just draped over her shoulder, all his limbs completely relaxed and hanging as if dead. He must have been so tired. What a picture.

One dumb thing I did:
I really blew it this time. I lost the sermon for this Sunday and now it can't be uploaded. It was an awesome sermon, and Holy Hip Hop Artist Thi'sl was going to tune in! And I lost the sermon because I was careless. Man, that was like a punch in the gut. It reminds me of a German fairy tale that warns kids about rocking their chair. This kid was rocking in his chair at the dinner table, with the table cloth tucked into his shirt. He fell over backwards and the cloth with everyone's plate fell to the ground. And everyone had to go to bed hungry because the father couldn't afford another meal. All because of what the boy did. I couldn't help but feel like that boy. Everyone was very gracious and forgiving, and it's not the end of the world, but man, was there a worse Sunday when I could have done that?

Remember a couple weeks ago when I said, "If your week was miserable and you really dropped the ball in a big way, don't be down. God still loves you and his love is not hinged on how well you did this week. I feel for you. I've been there."
Well, my week wasn't miserable, but how fitting those words are. Actually, this was one of the best weeks of my life. This whole month has been one of the best of my life. In fact, I think it is. The whole blogging dealy has been such a blessing to me. I hope to you too, but it's helped me so much, and it's been very rewarding. I'm so thankful.

Well, I can't share the sermon with you, but here's a video we watched in church today by Thi'sl. Prepare yourself, 'cause this is some serious stuff!
I was thinking this week about how God was perfectly fine by himself and didn't have to create this world. He didn't have to go through the pain on the cross. But because he foresaw us and loved us, he was willing to endure the pain and shame of the cross, just to make us his own.

Changed Life #3

2008-05-17T23:45:00.000-07:00

Matthew's Music Marathon

2008-05-16T22:34:00.000-07:00

Maybe more "m's" might make Matt's music marathon more marvelous!

Before I get to the music, I just want to say that the Bible study went well. Everyone was surprisingly attentive the whole way through. That was a miracle itself, because usually Griffin loses focus easily. We went over the basics of the gospel, why Jesus had to die, what the resurrection means, what we have to look forward to, and much more. Next week we'll start going through Romans (with many side travels, I'm sure).

Alright! As you might have noticed, every once in a while I like to post a song that has really touched me. Last night I went through a plethora of music videos, and found some really cool songs. There are a lot more songs in my stash, and I feel like I'll never get around to posting them all at this rate, so I figured I'd get a bunch out there in one swoop!

First up is a song that I had heard once or twice and never thought much of it. But last night I really started to like it. Then I liked it even more! Now I play it all the time. Flame, Lecrae, and John Reilly in "Joyful Noise"

Apparently others feel the same way I do about this song. Check out these dudes wilin' out! Ain't nothin' like wilin' out to a good Christian song! Let's get it Christians!

I was looking through some Christian Techno songs, and I was just thinking about how much I like Christian Techno/Dance. I wish there was more good stuff out there. It seems like the Christian Techno thang never took off. If you know some good stuff, feel free to recommend me some! Here's World Wide Message Tribe's "The Real Thing". Remember that song?

While I was on the topic I saw an old song I knew: "Jumping in the House of God". I was hoping to find the official video, but I found something better: Little kids dancing to the song!

I love the prayer part. And of course the jumping.

This might be overkill, but here's the same song again with some different kids. Also cute, but you gotta admit, not quite as cute as the last one.
"Word to the Father" Hahaha! I love it!
I can only watch this one once though. That monkey gets hard to watch after a while.
Also, the girl in green is pretty good! I love the boy! He's so into it!
"Jesus died for myspace in heaven"! Love it!
When I watch this video I think, "God really loves his kids" This is what it's all about. Jesus died for this, man.

The other evening I was listening to the radio and looking at the stars and this song came on. It really touched me. Listen to the words!! I hope it shakes you like it shook me. I remembered the name and looked to see if it was on youtube. Good news! It is! Sara Groves - He's Always Been Faithful

Not exactly sure how I found this song, but it really lends itself well to impromptu drumming! You can do all kinds of stuff with this song. It's also cool because it's such a widely known song. I've heard it in gospel, hip hop, rock, all kinds of different genres. "I'll Fly Away"

I can go on, but 7 is the number of completion, and if you watched them all, you're probably completely burnt out. That really takes commitment! Thanks!

Falling in Love... (Part 2)

2008-05-15T22:52:00.000-07:00

This is a continuation from Part 1

What sweet times we've shared. Sometimes God shows me his love and it's just too raw for me to bear. I don't know whether to cry or to rejoice. I have to tell God to please stop because it's too much to bear. If I think too seriously about his love, I'm instantly overwhelmed. If I were to seriously consider the words I sing when I worship, I would be crying every time.

What a sweet blissful time I had with God, I just remember that first year. Just thinking about the songs I sang, how I just needed him, how my wounds were healed, how my questions were answered, and how I started eating up his word; listening to sermons every day, reading, praying, thinking, reflecting. I thought about just losing control, losing myself in him. I have this image of diving into a pool and swimming around under water. Full free range of motion, but inundated and surrounded by him.

But you must know that I was still sinning, still stumbling, but still clinging to his feet. No, I was not perfect, no matter how glorious my description of the time. Far, far from it. My sin was obvious to me. Don't think for a second that you have to be perfect to experience this love.

I once heard about some dude on the East Coast. I think it was Moody, but I may be wrong. (Please correct me if you know better). I heard about how Moody was holed up for 3 days or something in a room, waiting for God to pour out his love on him. Eventually it was so strong he had to tell God to stop.

When I first heard that story, I thought it very weird, and said to myself, "I'd never do that". It was totally removed from my reality. I didn't think I'd ever experience something like that. But I asked myself if I wanted to experience that, and I thought, yes. It was strangely intriguing to me. I said, "I don't know how or if it's gonna happen, but yes, I want it."

And I'm no different from you! Remember my previous life? There was no sweet communion then. And He wants to do the same work in you. He can and will if you let him. Do you want it?

...

I wrote these 2 posts yesterday morning and it set my whole day straight. I woke up with a bad attitude and my thoughts going every which way. It seemed like it would be a bad day, and then he showed me all of this again. It changed everything.

I hope there's someone out there who can relate! Not someone who will say, "jeez Matt, we all know Jesus loves us, get over it" or "that's not a special feeling, we all feel that way all the time". Is there anyone else who gets completely floored? What an encouragement it would be to me if you told me about it! I love hearing from people who are in love with God, or just someone who really felt like they needed to hear this.

Falling in Love... (Part 1)

2008-05-14T23:59:00.000-07:00

(I wrote the rough draft for today's and tomorrow's post this morning. They're now done, but it got too long, so I'll post the second part tomorrow. So tune in tomorrow!!)

This morning has been amazing.

I've just really been thinking back to that time when I really fell in love with Jesus. What a sweet sweet time it was. And I'm not saying we don't have good times now, but it's just so sweet to think back to that time when I first fell in love. Since I was a little boy, I had known him as Lord, but then I fell in love.

Everything changed. I knew I was born again! I knew I was a different person. I wondered how people back in California would react when they saw me. Would they know something was different about me?

Things were so different that I started to doubt whether I really had been saved before then. If this was my born-again experience, then what was that before? Could it all have been false? I remember how sincere I was, but that doesn't make me saved, right?

I just remember walking across the quad at Temple University and just grinning from ear to ear. I was just thinking "I love Jesus and Jesus loves me!" It sounded too good to be true, but it was true. As I was walking across the quad that day it suddenly struck me:

Hebrews 12:2
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Aaron had alluded to this, but now I finally realized: he was looking towards me! He looked ahead at the love and joy in my heart and me hop-skipping across the quad, and thought, "it's worth it". It's worth the suffering and shame. It's worth the death on a cross. Yes, he was looking towards you and me! Fully aware of our rebellion and our lack of reverence for him, he still bore the agonizing pain, because he looked ahead to us and the joy we would one day share when we believed. It was his joy to redeem us and make us his own. What is the joy set before him? We are! We are his inheritance. We are his joy.

Shine!

2008-05-13T22:44:00.000-07:00

Griffin yesterday was so funny. Some Jehovah's Witnesses came to the house while he was at school. When he found out they had come, he said that if he had been there he would have told them "Look, I don't believe in your Joseph Smith!"

The Bible Study will be starting this Friday at 6 at Griffin's place! I'm so excited! I know Griffin is too. I've been trying to work all week on what I'll be saying. Please pray for me and our study, that I would be faithful to the task, bathed in prayer, and that their ears would be opened, and that the seed falls on good soil! I also know that the enemy will not be happy about our meeting. Please pray that God would protect us from any attacks and distractions.

Here's another great song by an artist I've recently started hearing about, Willie Will. He seems to be a quality dude. All the songs of his that I heard were sound, convicting and inspirational. I'm always happy to hear music from people who are serious about their walk. This song gives me motivation to let my light shine in this dark world.

'Cause people need the light!

Mother's Day

2008-05-12T22:55:00.000-07:00

I said yesterday that I'd finish up about Mother's Day. Here it is. Here's your Mother's Day Bonus, Mom!

Sorry! OK, here's a better one. Christmas Day morning, 2005.

For much of the week I reflected on my mom, and what she means to me. A few things I found:

When I look back on my childhood, I feel like I really took my mom for granted. I thought about all the work my mom put in, all the meals she cooked, how much she looked after us, clothed us, took care of us, loved us. It really hit me that I've never really expressed my profound gratitude for her labor, a true labor to the Lord-- definitely not to the extent that she deserves. It's easy to be self-centered and thankless. It's human nature, and I've really noticed this in kids, to trample on our mothers' work in disrespect. What a thankless job being a mother can be! Especially to be my mother! hehe.

I take this very seriously. Mom, I'm really sorry for the way I took you for granted many times. Your dedication to Rachel, Timmy, and I was exceptional. And although it must have seemed like you weren't getting any appreciation for it then, at least I can take this time to tell you now how much you mean to me. I can't describe how much your service means to me. I don't know where I'd be without you. I can never repay you for what you've done for me. You helped me become the person I am today. And all you got in return all these years was a bunch of teasing. (Although that was fun, huh?)

You are a phenomenal woman, and I'm so proud that you're my mom! You are amazing!

I love you!!! Thank you Mom!!!

I'll be coming home next Wednesday when finals are over. I can't wait to see you!
(It was hard to hold back the tears on this post)

Week 3 in Review

2008-05-11T21:34:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been another week. It's been a long day, and I still have lots of work to do. There were some surprises. So I'll try to keep this brief.
I'd like to welcome my mother to the reading faithful! Hi Mumom! She found out about the blog yesterday. I do have some embarrassing pictures of you that I'm not averse to publishing! But I s'pose that'll have to wait until tomorrow. Happy Mother's Day!

Church was good today. I only had 3 kids, and the adults went extra long, but luckily we prepared some open-ended time for drawing. At one point I asked them what they had done for their mothers recently. Kaila made chicken noodle soup, David made eggs and brought his mom a donut, but she didn't eat the donut. Derek got up extra early to make his mom a note today. During the drawing time I also made you a note, mumom. I'd take a picture and upload it, but I left my camera in Fresno. Dad, maybe you can bring my camera next Saturday when you come.

It was a very mixed week. A lot of joys, some frustrations, much hope. I've been overwhelmed by the encouragement I've received lately. Everyone has been pouring encouragement on me, and it has been a Godsend. It really means a lot to me!

I've been having a real hard time sleeping lately. I toss and turn, my mind is racing, and I can't sleep, and then I'm tired during the day and take naps. Then I lose the time I would spend doing work to naps. It's not cool. I also think my mattress is uncomfortable. That's what I get for getting a free one.

We did win the soccer championship yesterday. That was great. I feel like I was finally rounding into form this last week, and now the season is over. Thankfully I will be taking a soccer class at Cerritos College this summer (along with Badminton and Volleyball).

The party on Friday was a blast. I met a lot of cool people and we all laughed a lot. It was like NT survey class all over again. But not quite at the level of Greek class. That class is unique. Speaking of which, I'll share my favorite joke. Dr. Rhee told us all that Greek is like mountain climbing. It's very strenuous and a lot of hard work, but once you reach the top, you'll see all the glory that God has in store for you!

To which I quipped, "but you will not enter the promised land..."

OK, this is getting out of hand, I need to get back to work. Tune in tomorrow for the conclusion of my Mother's Day recap! (hopefully)

Pressing on

2008-05-10T04:06:00.000-07:00

I've been hearing from various people and sources about pressing on in my Christian walk lately. On the radio, in songs, from pastors, teachers, in books... I've been hearing a lot about it lately. And whenever something is repeated in my life, I feel that God might be trying to drive home a point, so I try to pay special attention.

Today I heard a sermon in which the preacher said that holiness is something we'll never attain. We have to keep striving towards it. My first reaction was, "wow, that's so discouraging!" to think that in 40/50 years I will still be so lacking. That just sounds so hard! It sounds like so much work! I'm supposed to work all my life on something that in comparison to the pure and perfect standard God has given us, will never measure up?

The preacher talked about it being a sweet reward, but we don't see it. We're unable to make that connection. The ability to see that reward and to really esteem it for what it is eludes most of us.

I've recently received a strong boost from the Holy Spirit, a newfound drive to pursue God and holiness. I have to admit that I'm really surprised at what's taken place. The purity I've seen and experienced has become a motivator itself. Purity has become attractive to me and makes me seek purity itself even more. I enjoy purity. I enjoy rejecting sinful thoughts. I enjoy the battle. I enjoy victory.

I looked back and reflected today and when I realized that there were some thoughts that I no longer think, thoughts I never thought I'd be rid of, I feel a tremendous peace, a deep joy, thankfulness. There is peace just from being on the journey. The journey gives me an inner confidence and joy. The journey and struggle is an enjoyable one. I'm sure there will be times when temptation won't feel so joyful, but right now, I can see how perseverance and striving towards purity is so attractive.

I want to carry the banner! I want to tell the world about this! I never thought there would be victory, but there is! In this sinful world I want to stand up and shout about the awesome holiness of God that he desires to share with us. How sweet his purity is! How enjoyable! I will not defile my mind! I will reject sinful thoughts that try to creep in! I will acknowledge Biblical Truth over what my lying heart wants to tell me! Who else is with me??

This is ridiculous! It's ridiculous that a guy like me could feel this way. I remember several years ago when Jarrod called me from downstairs to pick me up for Bible Study. I was so annoyed. I had forgotten about Bible Study, and it was the last thing I wanted to do. I hated it. I was so annoyed by him. I remember doing anything to pass the time during sermons. Counting tiles. Daydreaming. Anything!

But now I love God's word. I love talking with him. I love doing what pleases him. I know that changing me pleases him. It's amazing to know that almighty God, my Jesus, is actively involved in my life and cares enough to deal with my filth and my ugly ugly sin. God loves giving me a spiritual makeover.

Do you really think that I'm any different from you? Don't you realize how much I hated this? If I can be turned around, you can too! But are you willing?

Surely you don't have the strength in you. Neither did I. God wants to do the work. And I believe that he's extending that opportunity to you now.

I've experienced so much failure in my life. I still fail, and I know I will fail again. But never mind that, I have to press on!

I have to tell you and plead with you to understand that I'm woefully immature. I feel like I'm barely getting started. And seeing how this is a new development, I really am just getting started. I can see my life changing. I can feel it. I'm not the person I was two months ago. Everything is happening so quickly. I'm being swept away.

This is not a fight where emotions will be my strength and motivation. But I sure am glad that it can be a byproduct.

It's 4am, and I have to stop. But I just couldn't wait until tomorrow. Sometimes things happen in the night and I just have to write it down. Here's a video that's been on my mind that talks about pressing on. (I didn't understand the video for the longest time. It doesn't seem to have anything to do with the song. And I know it's not the official video. Some guy just decided to make it and post it on youtube. But now I can see how the editor was trying to match footage with what the song is saying.)

I Need You Now

2008-05-09T17:15:00.000-07:00

Humility

2008-05-08T11:58:00.000-07:00

There's a very powerful song that I've listened to a million times. It's Timothy Brindle's "The Humillity of Christ".

I love Holy Hip Hop because it can convey so much in a single song. I love deep theological songs like this one. Enjoy!

You don't always get whatchu want

2008-05-07T21:55:00.000-07:00

I just got back from Griffin's house about an hour ago. Today Ella came running from the other room, crying because she didn't get a salami. I had never seen her quite like that; she was despondent and inconsolable. She threw herself on the floor and was just crying. In between crying you could hear her say, "I want... sa....me....!!"
Her Dad wouldn't budge, which threw her into even more frustration and crying. I was just thinking, "wow, that salami must be really good to make that big of a deal about it. I really want some of that salami."

But it was also a reminder to reflect on how I react when I don't get something that I've set my heart on. When God says no, how do I react? Do I acknowledge God's omniscience and goodness, trusting him that he knows what's best for me? or do I throw a hissy fit and start to complain and get angry, and perhaps even try to force the issue?

It's one of the hardest lessons you'll ever learn. I mean, who isn't disappointed when they don't get what they want? But inevitably, we all have to face such situations. Frequently.

I know God wants to give me what's best for me. When I don't get what I want, as painful as it is, and after examining all my motives, I have to acknowledge and trust that ultimately, it's better this way. God has a reason for withholding it from me.

Consider this passage from Psalm 84:11
For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.

Now I know that "those whose walk is blameless" is a pretty big qualifier, but consider also what Jesus said:

Matthew 7:7-11
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

Also, John 15:7
If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given to you.

Ultimately, we should want what God wants. We should wish for God's will to be established in our lives. It's a matter of trust. Do you trust that God knows what's best for you? Do you believe him when he says he wants to give you a good gift, by his estimation? Do you believe that his gift is better than anything you could have imagined? Things will be much better when you simply trust God's will.

Ephesians 3:20
Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.

Settling for our will is often less than what God has in store for us. Trust God that he knows what's best and pray for your will to be conformed to his.

Dora the Explora Part 2

2008-05-06T23:58:00.000-07:00

Some more things about Ella I didn't have time to mention last time:

Yes, Ella is cute, but man, don't you dare turn the channel or Ella will turn into a monster. Whatever Ella wants, Ella gets. She's so manipulative. Kids are such a great picture of human nature. They wear their emotions, thoughts, and sins on their sleeves (and other things too). But y'know, as adults we've just become better at concealing our sins. We know how to act. We're composed. We're good at hiding our emotions. We're so good at it we can deceive ourselves into thinking we really are doing well. We think we really are good, we really do have it all together.

No, we have to be honest with ourselves. We're rotten to the core. Human nature is to be selfish and to demand our own way, like Ella at the TV.

What does it mean? Well, I think about how precious Ella is even when she's misbehaving, and I realize that though I misbehave, God doesn't wane in his passion for me. It highlights God's grace and the depth of his love, because even though we're inherently selfish and rebellious, God still loves us. But I also take note of how painful her rebellion and selfishness are and take that as another motivator to not be that way myself.

Dora the Explora

2008-05-05T22:59:00.000-07:00

One more thing I wanted to add to yesterday's post was a really cute question from a girl in Sunday school. She's 7 years old, and she asked me how God could be in two different States at the same time and if you left to go to another State if God would still know where you are. Of course I told her how God was everywhere and knows everything and is here right now! She said "ohhhh!" and the other kids chimed in as well. They all seemed to get it. She was so precious. I hope they let me continue to do Sunday school.

And oh yeah, they called me "Mister Matt". *grin*

I've been really encouraged by other men who love kids, especially young parents, but also single guys like David Feiser. I've seen him around Josh Carroll's kids. He's a natural.

I've only really been this fond of kids in the last couple years. I think it might have something to do with spiritual maturity. I dunno. It's a welcome growth. I just think back to how I felt when I was a kid, and I know how important it is to be surrounded by adults who care.

Another one of my favorite kids is Ella, Griffin's little sister. (He calls her Smella *snicker*) She's two and a half years old and she's the star of the show. She's so cute in her I <3 JESUS shirt. She goes to ballet, and she's learned a few things. And as one of my students inquired, yes, she does have a little outfit. They're supposed to do this routine where they lay down, wake up and jump up. I love how she kind of stumbles around, yet does her best.

I love how she eats in the most inefficient way possible. Watching her eat rice is a spectacle. I also love how she calls Griffin "Giffin". The other day I saw him in the other room, carrying her over his back, just holding on to her ankles. She just loved it.

I've also gotten to know Dora the Explora (as I call it) and all the songs that go with it ("we did it!" is going through my mind right now). Get this, one time Ella was watching in her monkey outfit, because there's a monkey on the show.

I was thinking about this the other day. I was just thinking about how God loves me like I love Ella and how precious I am in his sight. And you are too, I'm not just talking about myself. I'm so much more precious to God than Ella is to me or her parents. Every little thing we do is precious to God. God gets excited thinking about us, can I even say, emotional, passionate.

Think about that for a minute...

Aaron mentioned a beautiful verse last Sunday about how precious we are to God. God said in his Word that his thoughts towards us outnumber the grains of sand. Wow!

Psalm 139:17-18
How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand!

What a sweet sweet picture of God's intimate knowledge of us and his intimate concern. Are you aware of it? Has it captured your heart? In our rebellion to God we forget sometimes. We mess up our lives and run away from God, but he's still there all the while with intimate concern towards us. Wow...

Week 2 in Review

2008-05-04T19:58:00.000-07:00

What an interesting week.

I've been thinking about what I would put in today's blog almost all day. (Which is not cool, because I didn't intend this blogging dealy to consume me in such a manner.

A lot of things I expected to happen this week, didn't. This week has been another lesson in patience. On the flipside, perhaps I just need to be a little more proactive. I'm reminded of Ecclesiastes 11:4
Whoever watches the wind will not plant; whoever looks at the clouds will not reap.

It means that whoever waits for perfect conditions before proceeding will never be successful. Too often I want everything to be just right before I proceed. And of course, that doesn't happen.

On the upside, something really cool did happen this week. Yesterday Derek called me up and wanted me to lead Sunday school for the kids today. He said it would just be his two sons. I was really excited because I love kids and I had never led the children's Bible study before. We're a small church and we don't have many kids, but still.
So anyway, today at the service we had a whole slew of kids come. Derek said to me, "Look what de Lawd has done!" (He doesn't normally talk like that, just when he says "de Lawd") The kids were in range from 5 to 12 years old, which was tough, but we managed. I tried to keep it fairly interactive. I found out a lot about their lives at school (also about human nature). It so reminded me of when I was their age. Those kids were a real blessing. When I asked who they look up to they all said their parents or their siblings. Precious.

On another note, I found out today that we will need to find another roommate, and quickly! I really need to find someone, because I can ill afford to pay another 25% on top of my rent. So if you're a man who would like to live in a house near Biola with some mature, Christian, funny, fun-loving young men, don't hesitate to call or e-mail me! And get ready for a rigorous background check and interview! Playing sports is a plus!

I had a great time hanging out with some old friends yesterday. But for all the fun I had, I kept thinking about how empty life would be if this was all life was about, as it appeared it was for many people. We went to the Angels game, to Dave & Busters; we ate, hung out at Tony's place, joked around- it was great. I had a good time, but I felt so unfulfilled at the end. I just went home with this burning desire to spill my guts to God and run into his arms. You know some days when you just yearn to dive in to prayer? That's what it was for me yesterday. I can think of so many other things that people run to when something gets them down, but people are so slow to realize that God can take care of them, and that prayer and running to God is the answer for pain and heartache. There is definitely comfort in his arms.

When I think about all the pain in the world I marvel at how people can even go on without turning to God. All other sources of comfort are ephemeral and insufficient.

As I look ahead to this week, I'm facing big mountains. I have a lot of work to do, a lot of other things I want to accomplish, a lot of people I have to meet with, and a lot of people who are counting on me. Please pray for strength and diligence for me!

The Savior who reigns

2008-05-03T23:31:00.000-07:00

I felt it necessary to be a little more explicit about what I believe. I'm sure you can gather a lot of it from reading my posts. But I wanted to make sure that you understand what it's really all about: Jesus Christ!

One of my favorite Holy Hip Hop artists, Shai Linne:

Changed Life

2008-05-02T23:51:00.000-07:00

Last week I posted about a drug dealer who became a Christian and how his life was changed. This week I have a very similar story:

"I COULDN'T STOP SELLING DRUGS!"

Notice again the power of intercessory prayer. The mother was so faithful in her prayer. Sometimes it seemed pointless, but she didn't give up. Don't despair in praying for others!

Also, I'm praying for many of you! So you never know what's going to happen to you!

God calls his shots (Part 2)

2008-05-01T23:44:00.000-07:00

A week ago I posted about the story of Daniel being a deliberate prophetic picture of Christ in the Old Testament.

Don't be surprised that the Old Testament is full of pictures of Jesus Christ. After all, Jesus said:

John 5:39-40
You diligently study the Scriptures because you think that by them you possess eternal life. These are the Scriptures that testify about me, yet you refuse to come to me to have life.

That's what the Old Testament is. It's all about Jesus Christ. Pastor Aaron put it nicely: The Old Testament is like a long red carpet that unfurls at the foot of the cross.

John 5:46-47
If you believed Moses, you would believe me, for he wrote about me. But since you do not believe what he wrote, how are you going to believe what I say?

Now I know Moses didn't write the story of Daniel, but consider what Jesus did on the road to Emmaus:

Luke 24:27
And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he explained to them what was said in all the Scriptures concerning himself.

No doubt the story of Daniel came up. No doubt Isaac came up, no doubt Joseph came up, no doubt Moses came up, no doubt the tabernacle came up. And much much more, I'm sure. (Not an exhaustive list.)

I thought about it some more and noticed some other parallels between Daniel's story and Jesus'. Notice how Daniel was also silent at his trial, just like Jesus (that point courtesy of Aaron). I also noticed that the circumstances were similar. Daniel was about to be set "over the whole kingdom" (Daniel 6:3), which infuriated the others. They didn't want him as their ruler. "We have no King but Caesar" comes to mind (John 19:15). Also, Darius is like Pilate in that he didn't want to execute Daniel, and even sought to release him, having judged him to be innocent.

Combine that with what I said in the last post:
Daniel is unjustly sentenced to death and is put in the den, which is sealed with the king's seal. Early the next day the King runs to the den and the stone is rolled aside and Daniel is found alive because he was "found innocent in God's sight" (Daniel 6:22)...

Notice how the whole story mirrors Christ's resurrection. Early on the day of resurrection the stone (which had been sealed) is rolled aside and Christ is alive because he was found innocent in God's eyes. God had inspected the sacrifice and approved of the sacrificial atonement, and raised him from the dead.

Isn't it pretty clear that the story of Daniel is a foreshadowing of the cross? Yes, God uses foreshadowing a lot in his book, and only God can do such a thing, because he alone knows the end from the beginning.

The only way (1-800-JESUSCHRIST)

2008-04-30T23:15:00.000-07:00

Let's say I gave you my phone number and you tried to call me, but you didn't dial the number I gave you. Would you still expect the call to go through to me? Of course not.

Would you say it's unfair, mean, or offensive of me to expect you to call me on that specific number? What if you believed another number might work? If you dialed the wrong number, would you be right in saying, "How mean and judgmental of you to not accept my phone call! If you were fair, you would have answered my call." That's ridiculous, right?

Let's say you talk to my friends and ask about my phone number. They confirm my specific number, the same I gave you. But you get angry. You're furious at my friends for thinking your number inferior. You say to them, "How can you say that your number is more accurate than the one I dialed?! How arrogant of you to think you know the truth! My number is as good as anyone's." On top of that, you erroneously accuse my friends of using an arbitrary number to pretend to talk to me.

Unfortunately, this is how some people treat God. God has clearly revealed himself in the Bible, because he wants to be known. He wants you to give him a call. In John 14:6 Jesus says, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." God has given you his number. It's called 1-800-JESUSCHRIST

Don't say God hasn't been clear. Don't say his number is unknowable. Don't say he's offensive for insisting you come to him by the way he laid out.

An hour ago I heard a professed Christian deny that Jesus is the only way. He refused to confirm Jesus' words about him being the way, the truth, and the life and that no one comes to the Father except through him. He was afraid of being labeled a bigot. He was afraid of what other people thought of him. He clearly lacked faith to believe that Jesus really is the only way. He just denied Christ.

This is what I had to repent of, too. I used to adhere to religious etiquette to the "T". My justification was that I didn't want to offend anyone. But one day Pastor Bruce told me something that really convicted me. He said that when you keep the truth to yourself so you won't be ridiculed, you're not loving people, you want them to love you. The truly selfless thing to do would be to confront in love and humility, and accept whatever abuse might come your way as a result. You know they might hate you for it, but your love is greater than the fear of retaliation. That's real love.

Either Jesus is the Truth or he's not! What a pointless faith to half-heartedly believe only some things about Jesus. You know, like "Jesus is great, but he's not the only way". Either he is everything he claimed to be, or nothing. To claim Jesus as your Lord, but accept other faiths is ridiculous. Either Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life, or not.
To accept other faiths as valid is a complete failure to grasp Christ's clear claims of exclusivity. He clearly claimed to be the exclusive truth, he has forced the issue, so you must either completely reject him or completely accept him. There is no middle ground.

This last fall, one of my students asked me, "Do you accept people of other faiths?" I answered, "More than that, I love them!" Yes, I love people of other faiths, and so should you. But that doesn't mean that I agree with them. I can and must still steadfastly hold to Jesus being the only way.

Oh and by the way, God says for you to call him. His number is 1-800-JESUSCHRIST

Sin has no power

2008-04-29T22:55:00.000-07:00

Yesterday's blog also reminded me of another great message from Aaron.
When I first went to Antioch in September 2005, I heard him say something along these lines, adapted from Romans 6-8:

Do you think there's any sin in your life that you're never going to get rid of? It just has you convinced that you'll never be able to get rid of it. It tells you you might be going to heaven, but as long as you're on earth that sin is going to be around, so you might as well get comfortable with it. It's been with you so long, you just can't imagine yourself without it. It has you in a headlock and it's beating you up, it's just mocking you. There seems no escape.

But we can't listen to ourselves. We easily fool ourselves. Jeremiah 17:9 says,
"The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; Who can understand it?" Since we can so easily deceive ourselves, it's important to find out what God has to say.

Here's what Romans 6:6-14 says:
For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin— because anyone who has died has been freed from sin.

Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God.

In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace.

6:18 You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.

We are dead to sin! Sin has as much power over us as over a dead man! We are dead to sin! We don't have to listen to temptation. We don't have to pay it any attention. Its opinion carries no weight.

And although we will never be sinless, we will sin less. We won't be perfect, but there is no sin that can remain in power over you. Recognize and believe yourself to be free from the power of sin through the cross. Sin has no power over you. You just have to believe and appropriate that truth.

My prayer is that this will start in you a realization that things don't have to be the way they are. You can be free. I pray you realize and use the power that Jesus gives you over sin. There will be struggles. But I pray it drives you to seek him more for his power, but also for himself and the great interpersonal relationship he desires you to have with you.

The Native American Christian

2008-04-28T22:13:00.000-07:00

There's this story about this Native American Christian that Aaron likes to tell. I always wonder, who is this mysterious Native American Christian? Is it Aaron himself? He's part native American. Is it his relative? Is it some author I've never heard of? Regardless, it's a great story that portrays Biblical Truth clearly.
It's based on Galatians 5 and Romans 8:

Galatians 5:16-17
So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want.

Romans 8:5-8
Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.

Here's how it goes:
The Native American Christian says,
"I have a war between two dogs, the flesh and the spirit.
"Who's winning?" he was asked.
He answered, "Whichever dog I feed"

And isn't that so true. When you sow to the flesh (aka sinful nature), guess what you're gonna harvest. Fleshly things. But when you do things that build you up spiritually in Christ, then you're sowing to the spirit.

Galatians 6:7-8
Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.

I was talkin' to some fellas this morning and they wanted to know how to escape sin, but for some reason I got the feeling they didn't like hearing that Jesus was the answer. They wanted some answer that didn't involve clinging to Christ. "Just tell me how to get free from this sin and that'll be enough." Duh! Clinging to Christ is the answer!

John 15:4-7
Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you.

Even freedom from sin?

Especially freedom from sin!

Why don't you try sowing to the spirit? You will surely reap good fruit!

Week in Review

2008-04-27T18:04:00.000-07:00

Today the blog turns one week old, and well, what a week!
Wow!!
Praise God no matter if the week was bad or good, but wow! Thank you for the good ones, Lord!
I'm still trying to figure out exactly whom I'm talking to and what I'm supposed to be talking about on this blog, but it is a personal blog, after all.

There are several things I'm so happy about:
-the church website is doing so well and getting a lot of visitors.
-the guy at church today (Mike) who got very excited when he found out I listen to Lecrae and other Holy Hip Hop.
-the blog
-God finalizing my plans for the summer (I'm staying in La Mirada, plus gonna do some traveling!!)
-the great food I picked up at the German store on Sunday and have been eating all week
-school going so much better
-Griffin getting very excited about the Bible study we're going to be having. What a joy he's been! Plus his mom said, "I want a Bible study, too!"
-Some other encouragement from brothers that I've been given that has really helped me
-catching up with some old friends I met online.
-some private matters that I'm very pleased with
-God's special presence this week. Some weeks are just better than others (certainly not God's fault, he'd like for all our weeks to be filled with his presence), and I really needed him this week, and he was really there for me in a personal way.

There's probably some other things I'm leaving out, but oh well.

I hope this has been an encouragement to you. If your week was miserable and you really dropped the ball in a big way, don't be down. God still loves you and his love is not hinged on how well you did this week. I feel for you. I've been there. That's been my story for most of my life. I hope this encourages you that things can turn around. If it can turn around for me, it can turn around for anyone. I'm no different from you. God is so willing to turn you around and to give you joy and victory. Just be willing to be turned around, and be seeking him.

I've been thinking about you...

2008-04-26T23:09:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about you today...

We've known each other for years now. I always loved talking to you. We always got along so well. Unfortunately time and space have separated us. I rarely get to talk to you as much as I'd like.

I was thinking some more about you today...

Where did I go wrong? I wish I could share a piece of my heart with you. I want to wake you up. Somebody needs to shake you to wake you up! Wake up! What are you doing with your life? I've failed you as a friend, if you can even call me that. Every time I talk to you I just talk about superficial things. I leave you where you are.

I've been thinking about you for years...

I've been watching you grow up and grow older. I've been reflecting on where your life has been and where it's going. I don't like where it's going. You're running your head into a wall and you don't know what to do about it. So you do it some more.

You always think that happiness and fulfillment are just around the corner. Then you find it wasn't all that, so then you move on to something else.

Please wake up...

You have this warped view of sophistication. It seems like you picked it out of some movie or song or commercial or magazine and have been chasing it all your life. You try to impress people that don't care about you at all. It pains me so much! to think of my friend being used puts me in anguish! You poor thing! They're in the same struggle as you: Trying to define themselves, establish themselves, build a reputation, to hinge their self-esteem on the acceptance of some stranger. And sometimes you're that stranger.

Please wake up...

*sigh*

I think about you entirely too much...

The way your situation consumes me is ironic, considering you think you're doing great. Why do you keep thinking a man is the answer to your needs? Your pain is much deeper. I'm not saying you have to forget about men. But you beat yourself up. You're so down on yourself. You're getting depressed. I can see it in your eyes. It's driving you to make worse decisions.

You're looking for a way out, but you don't see it. You've resigned yourself to your fate. You don't have to.

I remember when we talked about Jesus together. But your heart didn't treasure what was said. Your heart is cold. I'm afraid your heart is cold towards me as well. The wounds of your life are clouding your vision. You think Jesus is a chore. You couldn't possibly imagine that God might have the answer to your problems. I don't think you realize that he can heal your scars, that he really can give you abundant life. I thought Jesus said your joy will overflow, but you're a stagnant pond. There's so much more for you! You're satisfied with far too little! Your current situation keeps you from imagining it to be any different. Sure, God can create the universe, but when it comes down to the nitty gritty of your life, you think you know what's best, even better than God. Don't get me wrong, this is a common struggle. I'm constantly realizing how much I put myself at the center of my life. I'm constantly living to please myself. But this has got to stop. You've tried to do what seemed right to you, but I hope you'll come to realize that it's not working, and it's not going to work.

I think about you so much. I dream of the day when you say to me, "I gave it all up. I gave my life to Christ."

I'm so sad about you. You're headed down the road to destruction, or at best, a defeated life. I know you won't heed my words. You won't think it applies to you. But as a friend, if I beg you, will you listen? Will you do it as a favor to me?

In John 12:25 Jesus says:
Those who love their life in this world will lose it. Those who care nothing for their life in this world will keep it for eternity.

Your life has had the wrong foundation. The storms of life are beating you up. You're tired and exasperated. You're sick and tired of being sick and tired.
But your life would be so much better with a good foundation!

Consider this parable:

Matthew 7:24-27
Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.

It's time you take Jesus at his word. Do you really believe that Jesus knows what he's talking about? Can you agree that his words are perfect wisdom?

Give your life to Christ.

Matt

------------
Dear reader,
So you might be wondering, "who in the world is he talking to?" None of your beeswax. To be honest, it's written to several people. I had about 5 people in mind when I wrote it, which also explains some of the jumbledness. But I think it applies to all 5 in some way. Some of them may never see this post. Maybe one will. Actually I think it could apply to many people, probably you too.

Take me as I am

2008-04-26T01:12:00.000-07:00

So ironic. Today I decided I would start blogging daily, and today I fell asleep on my bed a few hours ago, clothes on and all, thereby missing Friday's post time. Oh well.
What was that about me not making sense when I'm tired?
So I'll keep it brief.

Here's a powerful video that always speaks to me:

God calls his shots

2008-04-24T23:55:00.000-07:00

Speaking of ways we know the Bible is true...

This morning I was in Theology 2 class with Rob Price, and we were talking about proper exegesis of the Old Testament. Invariably the subject of Old Testament pictures of Christ came up. I didn't want to say anything because I was so tired- and when I'm tired I usually don't make much sense. But after class I talked to Rob about Daniel in the lions' den. The story is clearly a picture of Christ. Daniel is unjustly sentenced to death and is put in the den, which is sealed with the king's seal. Early the next day the King runs to the den and the stone is rolled aside and Daniel is found alive because he was "found innocent in God's sight" (Daniel 6:22).

This was a type of the resurrection, because Daniel was received back from the dead.
Notice how the whole story mirrors Christ's resurrection. Early on the day of resurrection the stone (which had been sealed) is rolled aside and Christ is alive because he was found innocent in God's eyes. God had inspected the sacrifice and approved of the sacrificial atonement, and raised him from the dead. The joy of the disciples mirrors King Darius' joy.

"I've never heard that before! No one had ever told me that before," Rob said. You might be in the same position, and this is not a trivial matter. Do you realize what this means?? God proves his Word is true because he can predict the future from the past. Isaiah 46:9-10 says:

And do not forget the things I have done throughout history. For I am God-I alone! I am God, and there is no one else like me. Only I can tell you what is going to happen even before it happens. Everything I plan will come to pass, for I do whatever I wish.

The story of Daniel so clearly shows us the resurrection of Christ. It's such a case of God calling his shots before they happen so that later on, we can believe. No one could ever have predicted the events of Christ's death so clearly without knowing what would happen. The story of Daniel happened and was written 500+ years before Christ! Obviously God is real, because only God, being outside of time and knowing all of history, could have known in advance.

Get ready to be blown away!

2008-04-23T23:55:00.000-07:00

' BIG TIME ' HEROIN DEALER TURNS TO GOD!

Wow!

Can't nobody tell me that Jesus Christ doesn't save lives.

You know, there are several ways that we know and can prove to the world that Jesus is true. For example there's historical and circumstantial evidence, general revelation, philosophical logic, scripture, and fulfilled prophecy- but one of my favorites is still changed lives. And what a changed life.

A few things that stood out to me:

- The wife. What an example of intercessory prayer. Wow! How faithful was she? I don't even know what to add. Wow! What forgiveness and love. Think about it.

- the friend. "You did what???" "I gave my life to Christ." "What???" And then he says, "whatever you decide to do, man I'm down witchu. That's a good move." God really had to be working on him. That's not the reaction I was expecting.

Amazing. All I can say is glory to God!

The Prodigal Dad

2008-04-22T22:57:00.000-07:00

I was just reading through my last post...

You know, there are many, really the majority, who don't really have a good grasp of a healthy father-son relationship. Maybe you're one of them. Maybe there's a disconnect between the words of intimacy/ love and you. You can't grasp the profoundness of the picture.

There may be several reasons for that. Maybe you're a woman and you just didn't get the father-son connection, but that shouldn't be it, because certainly God feels the same way about his daughters. Maybe your relationship with your father isn't like the song said. Maybe you did face condemnation. Maybe you've never felt that love from your father. Maybe such love is foreign to you. You're dead to it, cold to it.

I once heard that your relationship with your father is a major predictor of your perception of God. If you have an absent father, you think of God as absent. If your Dad was a taskmaster only concerned about the bottom line, you think of God that way. The health of your relationship with your father carries over into the health of your relationship with God.

Thankfully it isn't like that for everyone, but it also doesn't have to be that way for you. Your earthly father is a sinner like you, and you should forgive him. But God will never disappoint, his love and grace never run out. He's the perfect Daddy, and he's the one you should run to.

This reminds me of when I was living in Philadelphia and I was attending Antioch. One day a guy (about 22-23, I'm not sure) excitedly told us all that this was his father sitting next to him. His father had been gone and astray for many years and he didn't know where he was, but he gave his life to Christ and now he's back and the family is back together. He said "I love you", and he also said "I love you". The two fell into each other's arms. They cried. "I'm so sorry" the Dad sobbed. "I love you" the son cried. They rocked in each other's arms and cried.
I was crying. Lots of people were crying. It was so beautiful. I've never seen something so beautiful. I just got to thinking of how God loves me like that and I was crying even more. I was so happy to have been blessed to be a witness of such beauty, such love, such grace.
As I'm sitting here, thinking back, it's hard not to cry.

*sigh*

My prayer is that God repairs your relationship with your father. My prayer is that you plunge into the deep love and forgiveness of God and take advantage of the forgiveness and restoration he offers you.

He still calls me "son"

2008-04-21T00:33:00.000-07:00

There's another reason why I decided to start the blog tonight.
I saw the most amazing video last night. You gotta check it out!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LcKUYNNotLs

I was just browsing through some videos last night. I didn't really feel like checking this video out, but for some reason I did. After 30 seconds I had favorited it, and after a minute I was in tears. Then I was just ballin'. I listened to the song several times. Each time I cried more and more.

It was just too raw. The words just rocked me. They just connected with me:

I've known shame that no child of his should know...

After where I've been, should he take me back?

I've disgraced him.

I've disgraced him! When I think about my past (and present), I've disgraced him so much.

I saw my home on the horizon and from a distance I saw my father (tears came down), watching with his always-forgiving eyes. After all I've done, he just ran to me, then he kissed my face...

He kissed my face???? Too raw. Tears.
He would not let go of me. Too raw. More tears. I could just picture it. I could feel it!

After where I've been, he just welcomed me, I don't understand, how he put his robe on me. It was so amazing that he still calls me son.

I don't understand. I don't understand! What's going on?? I'm coming in disgrace and filth. The terrible shame I feel inside. I've disgraced him. I'm expecting to be rejected and condemned... and he puts his robe on me??? He puts his robe on me??? Unbelievable. I don't understand. It's so raw! So bold! He kissed my face. He kissed my face....
This love is too much for me to bear.
I can barely stand thinking about it.

After all these years it still never grows old. I've (technically) known I'm forgiven for a long time now. But I just can't get over how raw God's love is. The picture of a father loving his son is just so personal, so intimate...

I can't get over the love, the grace!
He will run to me, he will kiss my face, he will not let go of me. After where I've been, he will welcome me, I won't understand how he'll put his robe on me. It will be amazing that he still calls me son.
Just thinking of that day, when I die and see him, that his grace will still be there. And even as I'm beating myself up for the compromising life I lived, he'll put his robe on me and kiss my face.

A new beginning

2008-04-20T23:58:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone,

Over the last few months there were many times when I felt "ugh! I wish I could share what I'm thinking/feeling/learning with other people, possibly in a public forum. This is really profound!" The thought of a blog occurred to me several times, but I just brushed it off. After all, I'm notoriously inconsistent with things like these, so who would think that I'd be able to maintain a blog?

I remember when I was 11 or 12, I tried to keep a journal. I was laughed at for it, but I stuck to it. I tried to summarize everything that happened to me prior to that point in life, in order to, in a sense, "catch up". The comprehensiveness of my journal was very important to me. While writing my summary, I collected loose leafs of paper that contained my daily journal. I was going to add those sheets to my permanent journal once I finished my summary. Of course, the journal never got done, the sheets were lost, and I'm sure the journal book is at the bottom of some landfill, (although in Germany I think it would be more likely to have been recycled).

We can all imagine what the blog will look like a year from now: An entry from today, an entry from April 30, an apology for not having written on May 31, and then nothing, much to the frustration of some true soul who bothered to check in regularly.

But, even if my determination should wane in the coming months, I feel I should give this a shot. If it fails, hey, no big deal. But I feel that I should at least try. If it's a colossal failure and embarrassment, I can live with that. At least I tried.

Also, thanks to Amy Yao for the inspiration. Your blog, Amy, gave me the idea to do this in the first place. Thanks again! (for the curious, her blog is amyao.blogspot.com)
You need to update it, gurl!